Miscalculated Love
by FivesSorrow
Summary: AkuRoku Oneshot: Axel has lived on the streets all his life and when his savior angel, Roxas refuses to let him die his look on life changes. M for violence and language


I'd been living on the streets for as long as I can remember. I've had to scrape and beg for everything. My type of privileged is to be able to wake up from whatever street I can find. My life is horrible, not that'll complain.

The streets were cold as usual. I hadn't expected anything other. Night had fallen and the cold was coming. Winter was the worst time of year. It was obvious why. Without shelter or warmth, you don't last long.

I've been told by others that I'm strong, that I'll live. Some days I find that hard to believe. It's days like today that I feel it will be my last.

I looked up and down the deserted alley. Searching for anything I could eat. I tried to stay away from the dustbins as much as I could. Even though they contained food, it was often off or contaminated by something else.

I found a small box of not-so-old vegetables around the back of the restaurant. They were always the best places to find food, providing you don't get caught. They throw out things that are even the tiniest bit off, most of the time it's still edible so I have no problem eating it.

After the small amount of food I found, I decided to find somewhere to stay for the night. I wandered the cold streets, huddled into my dirt ridden clothes as much as I could.

It was unusually cold tonight, something made me shiver that wasn't the temperature.

I rounded the corner, straight into a group of mid twenties men coming out of a bar. It was clear to me that they were drunk, they didn't seem to happy about being ran into either.

"Watch where you're going yah fuckin' idiot!" shouted one of them right in my face. He stunk of alcohol.

I felt my muscles tighten in annoyance at the drunken stranger. I jammed my mouth shut, knowing that if I said something it wouldn't lead to a peaceful sleep tonight.

"Well!" he shouted again "What do you say?" he reached out and grabbed a fist full of my jacket, pulling on it angrily.

"Why should I apologise? People like you don't deserve it." I snapped back, knowing I shouldn't have.

"WHAT?" he roared, his breath stunk so bad that I had to cringe and lean away.

The others in the group began to chuckle and form a circle around me. I looked around searching for a break that I could get through. Despite their drunken states, they knew what they were doing. I was surrounded. There were eight of them, and only one of me. This wasn't going to end well.

"People like me?" the one holding me shouted, pulling my jacket so that I was forced to look back to him. "People like you shouldn't even be allowed to live!"

I saw it coming, his punch. Whether he did it purposely or not, it was in slow motion. His fist forming as he pulled it back then moving in towards me.

Knowing all of what was going to happen, I quickly ducked at the last second, bending right down to crouch which in turn pulled the drunken idiot down with me.

_'Why do I have to deal with this?'_ I thought as the others now lunged at me. Thankfully they had had too many to drink and their punches were easy to dodge.

I saw a break in their formation and not waiting a second I ran. I didn't get far before I fell flat on my face. Looking back I saw that one of the ones that fell to the ground had grabbed my leg and pulled me down.

They quickly surrounded me again, each of them grabbing an arm or a leg. My attempts to escape would only tighten their grip on me.

"I'll give you a lesson in how to treat your superiors," the man I snapped at said as he hovered over me, holding a switchblade knife in his hand.

My eyes widened in surprise and fear, my heart raced as I trashed desperately against their hold on me.

He laughed darkly. "The kids scared!" he said to the others who laughed along with him. "You should be! I'm gonna fuck you up so bad, you little maggot."

"...No…" I moaned as I struggled further in their inescapable grasp.

Then man crouched down, twirling the knife against his finger in a menacing way. Slowly he moved the knife from my neck, down my chest.

"If you flinch, it'll hurt more," he laughed. I tried to keep my body as still as possible, but my instincts were still telling me to escape.

The cool blade was replaced back on my neck, I watched it slowly run down to my collarbone and pierce my skin violently.

I cried out in pain as bloody seeped from the cut, hot and wet down over my shoulder and dripping onto the floor. The colour of my blood matched the colour of my hair.

"Shut up!" he yelled at me, one of the other men placing his hand over my mouth so that only muffled cried could be heard. "That's better. You should be careful. I might end up killing you."

He moved the knife to the edge of my shirt, pulling it up off my chest before ripping it right to the end, revealing my chest into the cold night.

"Oh, for a scrawny boy you sure do have a nice body," he complimented darkly. "It's a shame what I'll have to do to it." he ran his hand from my wound down my chest, leaving lines of my blood as he went. My breathing was out of control. I only had my nose to breathe now, and with the cold night it was that much harder. My chest heaved up and down hugely.

"You sure are scared," he continued to laugh. "Been through this before have we?"

I bit on my tongue as the repressed memories flooded back. The same atmosphere, only a different location, different position and different faces.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered the pain of it all. I jammed them shut, facing away as I felt the knife pierce me again, this time on the left of my chest. The blood seeped quickly and easily. My tears fell just as my blood did.

I wanted to be rid of it all. I wished someone would save me, but who would do that? I have no friends, no family. No one cared for me, yet I refused to fade back into nothing. I Iwanted/I to live.

The only way I would get through this was to stay still and hold back any urge to move. I shut off my body from my brain. I let if fall limp against the arms holding me. The blade of the knife could still be felt, but now it was just a numb feeling scratching against my skin.

The tears continued to fall as the pain subsided. It didn't seem long before I was released.

They all laughed happily as they left, leaving me on the cold ground bleeding badly.

*huff… huff… huff* My breathing echoed in my head. I found enough strength to lift my head for me to see the damage.

It was bad, not as bad as the last time. But still bad. The cuts stayed mostly on my chest, but I could feel one on my cheek and one by my eye. My arms contained a few deep ones, rendering them useless.

I wondered if I would survive this. My arms refused to move, my legs the same.

I rested my head back on the cold concrete. _'Is this my last day?'_ I thought to myself._ 'I thought I'd last longer than this. I wanted to prove them wrong. I'll live, I'll live for myself and survive better than anyone else. I can do it.'_

Despite the determination in head, there was not much feeling in my body. I had shut it off after all and now it refused to restart.

I groaned to myself as I lay, my consciousness was quickly failing. I knew if I fell asleep that I wouldn't wake up. Not with the amount of blood I had lost.

I sighed. "So this is it," I said aloud. "My last day on earth. I guess I lasted pretty long. Longer than anyone expected." I chuckled, trying to see the light in my dying state.

I could feel myself fading now, I knew these would be my last breaths.

"What a way to die," I mumbled just before I shut my eyes. I could feel my heart pumping rapidly in my chest. It was violently trying to keep me alive. It knew what I wanted.

Somehow I began to feel at peace. I might finally get to meet my parents, I might have loads of family waiting for me. Brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles. The lot.

I smiled at the thought of meeting them. I would die with a smile, that I could deal with.

"Hey, hey! HEY! Wake up!" someone shouted above me. "God Sora! Call an ambulance, can't you see this guy is bleeding to death! There's only so much a trainee nurse can do!"

"Alright, alright!" another spoke. I heard footsteps and more talking, I was extremely uncomfortable.

_'This can't be the afterlife,'_ I thought. There was too much pain, too much feeling.

I was still alive, and someone was trying to save me.

"Please wake up!" the person above me shouted. "You need to stay awake! If you don't you'll die!"

"What if I want to die," I croaked forcing my eyes open slowly.

My vision was blurry and I couldn't see much of anything, I saw a bit of blonde hair, but that was it. It wouldn't clear up so I shut my eyes again and turned my head. My hair was damp and sticky, I could feel it. It was covered in blood, not that you would be able to tell.

"No! Look at me!" the blonde shouted. He tried forcing my eyes open, I normally would have hit him for doing so, but my arms were to weak to move, I could barely twitch them.

"Gerroff!" I moaned at him, throwing my head to the other side. "Just let me die. I don't care anymore."

"No. I wont let you die. It's not right!" he insisted.

"Ambulance is on it's way." the other person named Sora spoke. "They said about 5 minutes and to just keep the pressure on the cuts."

"See, I'm not gonna let you die." the blonde said happily.

I sighed and looked away from him, tilting my head.

"Hey! I said look at me!" he said gently pulling my chin back to face him.

"I can't see you," I said gently and quietly. "My visions fucked."

He laughed silently at me.

"Hey!" I shouted "What's so funny you little runt."

"Runt? Is that how you thank the person saving your life." he huffed, I could tell he must be pouting.

"First of all I could still die later, and second it's not like I know your name." I grinned, unable to help myself. It took a lot of energy all this talking and moving my facial muscles. I was extremely surprised my heart could stand it.

There was something odd. My heart wasn't hurting, it felt light and pumping easily. Had this little boy really had so much of an effect on my body?

"I'm Roxas," he smiled. I could start to see a little clearly now, I could see his smile slightly, I could see his bright blue eyes looking down into my emerald ones.

"Axel," I mumbled. "Anyway, why did you laugh at me before. Is there something funny about being partially blind?" I stared at him, despite my inability to see him clearly. It not like I had anything else to look at.

"I don't know. You just… Made me laugh," he smiled, looking down now. His blue eyes disappeared from my restricted view. "Sorry if I insulted you."

"Look back at me," I told him. His eye's flashed up.

"How did you know I wasn't looking at you? I thought you said you couldn't see!" he said quickly.

"I can't see!" I said over the top of him. "Not clearly. It's just a blur of blonde and blue."

"Blonde and blue?" he questioned.

"Forgotten your own hair colour and eye colour now have we?" I chuckled.

"Ah!" He realised, running a hand through his hair and laughed.

"You always this forgetful?" I asked.

"Not normally," he seemed embarrassed. I wanted to ask why, but the sound of sirens interrupted me. The ambulance had arrived.

"Oh! The ambulance, it's here!" Roxas sounded extremely happy.

The paramedics quickly took me into the ambulance, Roxas staying as close as he could to me. It was strange to have someone caring for me. Any other person would have just let me die, I wasn't good enough to save.

I watched him from inside the ambulance, our eye's hadn't lost contact since I had been moved. He was the only thing I could see through the blur. His blonde hair and his brilliant bright blue eyes.

I was actually sad when that was taken away by the ambulance doors shutting. For the first time in my life I felt alone.

I woke up quite comfortably, something I definitely wasn't used to.

My eyes flashed open, I was blinded for a second with the florescent lighting, but it soon cleared up and I could see. I could see properly. The room was white, everything was white. The walls, the floor the sheets. Which only made me notice the colour even sooner.

He was lying against my bed, his arms folded and his head resting on it. Roxas was fast asleep.

I smiled at him, wondering why he was here. It didn't matter to much. I was glad he was here.

I was now finally able to get a better look at him. His face was small and smooth, something you'd expect a child to have. But his body contradicted his face. It was obviously the body of an eighteen year old.

_'Younger than me,'_ I thought.

His hair was golden blonde and spiked up to one side. It seemed very precise how he spiked them. Each one individual to the others, yet all in one group.

He was wearing a big black hoodie, my eyes trailed down the back of it, following down to a patch of exposed skin on his back were his hoodie rode up. His skin was quite pale, especially on his back.

I could feel my face starting to get hot as my eye trailed down to the edge of the exposed skin. I could see a little down into his trousers, his checked boxers were just showing out the top.

I smiled at how amazing this boy was. My savior angel.

I reached out and gently stroked the young blondes cheek, it was just as soft as I thought it would be. It felt amazing, his heat on the back of my fingers.

He moved slightly to my touch.

"Roxas," I whispered.

Slowly he woke up, groaning and moving his chin up onto his crossed arms. He stared at the wall to the right me and sighed.

"You'll hurt your back if you sleep like that," I chuckled at his saddened face.

His eyes snapped up to my face, they were filled with surprise and happiness.

"Axel! You're awake!" he shouted and hugged me.

"Woah, woah! What's with all the closeness?" I demanded.

He quickly let go of me, blushing. "Sorry, I was just worried." he smiled looking at his hands that were now in his lap.

I frowned. "Why should you be worried about me? Why did you even bring me here? It's not like I can pay for all of this. I'm bloody homeless, let alone no money!"

Roxas' snapped back up to mine, he obviously hadn't expected me to be so harsh. To tell the truth neither had I. This boy had wasted his time saving me. I'm worthless, expendable.

"I'll pay, I don't mind!" he said happily, still smiling.

My frown deepened. "But why? Why are you doing this all for me? I don't know you, you don't know me. We've never met before. I don't owe you anything, you don't owe me anything." I babbled.

"You seemed worth saving." he looked down again, deep in his thoughts. "When I saw you, bleeding there, I just kinda acted. I knew we needed to stop the bleeding. And when you woke up and you were talking to me, I knew I'd made the right choice. I didn't want you to die. I was glad I did it. I don't regret it at all." he explained,

"Well your gonna regret it. You'll be in debt to pay this off and it's not like I can give you any money." I looked away from him.

"It doesn't matter. I'll sort something out." he tried to assure me.

I gritted my teeth as I looked back to him, he was just like everyone else. They expect you to accept something just because you're homeless. I was fed up of it.

"You should go get some real sleep," I told him.

"It's fine I can stay with you. You must get pretty bored if you're by yourself in here." he joked which only made my teeth grit together even more.

"I've spent every day of my life alone. I think I can handle a few day before I get released," I hissed through my gritted teeth. Roxas looked up to the unexpected change in my voice.

I hadn't intended to be so harsh to him, but my mouth just spoke without my brains consent.

"If that's what you want," he said sadly as he got up to leave

"Roxas!" I called after him, sitting up in my bed. "Ah!" I screamed as I fell back down, my chest burned violently.

My chest heaved with my breath. "No!" I shouted throwing my hands up to my face. I had been horrible to the first person who'd been nice to me. I felt something tug on my arm. I looked down to see a needle there. I gagged the second I saw it, I wasn't good with needles.

I could feel myself start sweating, I felt sick. I forced back the urge to throw up the contents of my stomach, not wanting to see it mainly.

My breathing got worse and so did my heart rate. I could hear the beep increasing slowly.

I'I need to calm down,'I I told myself as I began to control my breathing and lower my heart rate. It wasn't long before I heard the beep return to it's usual pace.

I lay back in the bed sighing. I don't see why people call these beds uncomfortable, they were just being ungrateful bastards. This was the best thing I'd ever slept on.

"Hello there," I looked up to see who had entered my room. He had long silver hair, tied back into a rough ponytail at the back of his neck. His eyes were ice blue behind his rectangle thick rimmed glasses. He wore the typical long white doctors coat and held a clipboard and pen in his hand. He looked quite young for a doctor. Probably the same age as me, maybe younger.

"Now we only have a first name for you, I was told that it's Axel. We couldn't find any sort of identification on you. Could you please tell me your details."

"Uh, I'm Axel Flynn. I'm 23. That's about it." I told him.

"Address?" he asked looking over the top of his glasses.

"Don't have one." I stated simly.

"Excuse me?" he questioned, taking his glasses off now.

"I'm homeless. That little guy just brought me in here. I was quite happy to die." I didn't look at him as I spoke.

"Yes, I got told Roxas brought you in. But I didn't realise…" he stopped mid sentence. "I'll have to talk to Roxas about all this." he sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

"I should say that you'll be ready to leave within 3 to 5 days." he said before nodding and leaving.

"3 to 5 days," I told myself. "No big deal. I'll be better off in here than out there, I guess."

Four days later I was released. The days passed quickly, I just slept. The best nights sleep I've had ever. But when I was awake I was bored. Roxas was right. I actually began to miss him. He didn't come back to see me and I was at a complete loss of what to do when I left.

The doctor who I later found out was called Riku, had given me some warm clothes before I left. He asked if I wanted to call anyone to pick me up. But there was no one. Not even Roxas would come, not after the way I treated him.

I trudged through the lively town, passing the place I was attacked. My blood was still there, stained onto the pavement.

I crouched down and ran my hand along the stains, the pain of the blade flashed back from my memory. I grabbed my stomach instinctively.

I shook my head as I got up and walked away from the pain and the memories. I had no idea where I was going. I never normally did, but this was the first time I was worried about it. For once I wanted a place to go.

I sighed and huddled into the clean clothes that I was given. The jacket was warm and comforting. I felt happier than I normally would walking down the street.

I didn't get any strange looks of disgust or repulsion. I look like everyone else, aside from my flaming red hair of course.

I smiled widely, my stride long and full. I felt like running, I felt full of energy.

So I ran, I weaved through the masses of people, they didn't jump out of the way as if I was a walking germ, the just moved slightly, allowing me to pass.

My grin grew bigger the more I ran.

Eventually I ended up by the lake, I decided to sit down and catch my breath. I looked out onto the still water, the sun was beginning to set making it look as if the water was on fire.

Fire.

The memories flashed. It was something I hadn't seen before. I was young. There was fire everywhere. People were yelling at me. They were angry.

I grabbed my head in a plea for it to stop. But it wouldn't.

_"You monster!"_ they screamed. _"Get away from me! Stay away from us!"_

They looked like me. Flaming red hair, emerald eyes. Those eye's were so bright through the flames. Those eyes were filled with disgust. Those eyes… were the eyes of my parents.

Tears rolled freely down my face as the memory faded. Leaving me with an empty realisation.

I had killed my family.

Then it was best that I didn't die, because I would have gone straight to hell.

The tears continued to fall, soaking into my trousers, I didn't care. I had killed the only people who cared about me… no, not the only ones. Roxas had cared about me, even when he didn't know my name. He saved my life and I treated him like dirt.

I was no better than the society that I hated. I obviously wasn't meant to be around people. I could only hurt them.

I stared out onto the flaming water and saw a bridge.

_'Perfect,'_ I thought as I got up.

The water looked like a river of lava below me. It felt right for me to die like this, to die in fire the way my family did. Yet I would not die like they did, because I would drown.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

Weather it was the fact that I was about to die or not, I don't know. But suddenly all my senses heightened and my ears twitched as I heard a familiar voice.

"No! Get off me!"

My eyes flashed open at to the direction of the voice. There I saw Roxas in the middle of a group of men, being beaten around, yanked this way and that.

My fists tightened into balls as I sprinted at top speed in their direction.

My punch took down the biggest looking one, throwing him several meters before he hit the ground and skidding another few meters. He was instantly knocked out when he hit the ground.

"Axel!" Roxas cried running to me.

I spun around to see someone aiming a punch at Roxas as he ran to me. I reached out and pulled Roxas down at the last second, the punch just skimmed his spikes.

It began again. The group of men against me.

It was harder to dodge now, this group weren't drunk and I only knew a little of fighting, just the basics to survive.

But these guys, these guys could have been professional fighters for all I knew.

Suddenly I was punched in the gut, I grabbed it immediately in pain.

"Axel no!" Roxas shouted as he held onto me.

"Roxas, run!" I groaned.

"NO! I'm not leaving you!" he shouted back.

I groaned again as I saw another punch aimed at him. I yanked him down, but it was too late for me. I took the punch straight on in the face, my nose crunching as it hit.

Blood spilt quickly, but I just ignored it as threw a punch right back at the guy, hitting him square in the face just as he had me.

"Aw, you bastard!" he moaned as he grabbed his bleeding nose.

"Toughen up!" I yelled jokingly at him.

"I wouldn't be acting so cool if I were you," one of the sneered behind me. I spun around to see him with Roxas. His mouth was covered, his eyes filled with gut wrenching fear. A gun was held up to his head.

The wielder of the gun grinned darkly. This was getting far to common for me to get into these situations.

"Let him go," I hissed angrily.

"Why should I?" he stroked Roxas with the gun, who flinched. "I think I might keep him, as a pet!"

"Why you!" I charged at him, instantly he aimed his gun at me and shot.

I felt a sudden burst of burning pain in my shoulder. The bloody pumped out quickly, soaking my new clothes.

I gripped it in pain, but I still tried to move forward to Roxas.

Another shot.

This time in my thigh. I fell onto one knee, the pain to much for me to handle.

"AXEL!" Roxas screamed, ganking off the mans hand from his mouth.

I forced my head to look up to him, everything was becoming blurred again.

"Roxas, my visions fucked." I laughed.

I could here him chuckle slightly. "This is no time for jokes, Axel."

"Not jokin'," I laughed.

"Shut up would you!" the man holding Roxas said. "You're giving me a headache."

"Sorry, your highness." I said bowing considering I was already on my knee with my arm gripping my shoulder.

"Think you're funny do you?" he scoffed. "Well I'll tell you a joke. It's a great one, you'll just die with laughter."

I knew what he meant immediately. I needed to move, I needed to see.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I listened for the sound of the trigger. It was slow motion, a smaller and quieter click that went off for the bang. That's what I was waiting for. Once I heard that I pushed off on my good leg, landing on my bad shoulder. But I ignored the pain knowing this was my chance to get Roxas back.

I opened my eyes to see everything perfectly, adrenaline was pumping through my veins, pushing me faster and lunging at the gun.

BANG!

The sound of the gun echoed all around.

I fell to the floor coughing, not just coughing, coughing blood. I brought my hands up to my mouth and were soon filled with blood.

"AXEL NO!" Roxas roared. I looked up to him from the floor, something changed in him. He too the opportunity and snatched the gun from the kidnappers hand and shot him in the leg.

Without waiting for a reaction Roxas began pointing the gun at the others around him.

"If you don't leave now I'll shoot all of you!" he screamed, his voice full of rage.

Not waiting to be told again, the others quickly picked up their bleeding friend and left.

Roxas quickly dropped the gun and raced to Axel.

"Axel, no! Don't leave me!" he cried, the tears falling on my face, washing some of the blood away.

"This is the second time you've saved my life," I laughed through the blood in my mouth.

"You saved me as well, so call it even," he tried to smile, but failed.

My breathing was becoming more strained. I clutched my chest tightly.

"Roxas, I need you. You're the only one who can save me." I told him.

"I need you too Axel. You changed my life completely. I've never felt this way before." Roxas' tears continued to fall on my face like raindrops. He placed his hands on top on mine on my chest and instantly felt lighter again. I felt whole.

"Roxas," I whispered.

"Axel, don't worry. Riku'll sort you out again." Roxas smiled.

All I could do was nod. I didn't want to tell him that I wouldn't make it. I could feel it in my heart. I had found what I'd always wanted. I was complete now.

I'd found someone to love.

"Live happily, Roxy." I smiled.

"Axel, NO!" his hands tightened around mine. "You can't leave me! Not now!"

"I think I loved you." I ignored his pleas. "I can't remember loving anyone before."

"NO! Axel, please hold on! Let me call Riku!" He moved one of his hands away which I grabbed quickly before it could reach his phone.

"Axel! Let me get my phone, I can save you! You said so yourself. I'm the only one that can save you!" he insisted.

"You have saved me. I think I might get to see them now," I said to myself. "Roxas," I reached my blood covered hand up to his cheek. "So soft."

He leant into my touch, pressing his face into my hand.

I pulled his face down so that it was just inched from mine.

"I love you Roxas," I said before I pulled him down the last inch, connecting our mouths together.

He hands moved up from mine to my face, holding me tightly, his lips pressed hard up against me.

This was my final act, both our eyes closed and Roxas moved back.

"I love you too Axel," was the last thing I heard. My heart was complete, all thanks to Roxas.

His eyes opened slowly, mine didn't.


End file.
